Where to start?
How does one unweave the web
of a friendship,
one strand of it shortened?
A fire hose of memories,
of humor, of generosity,
of tolerance, of good times.
Of a good friend.
How to capture a glass for all of us
to drink, to share?
My enduring memory of Tom is in the mountains, his old red Kelty backpack on, probably sitting on a rock putting in yet one more roll of film in his camera; all part of his quest to take it all back to Maryland. A twinkle in his eye, a few words spoken, a wry smile would emerge through his beard, and you would have received another bit of gentle, usually slightly offbeat humor that was Tom. And Afghanistan provided lots of material for Tom's view of the world. And then India, Nepal, Malaysia, and Australia added more. In New Zealand he named our old Holden sedan "Flesh" which exactly captured the car's very unusual color. I remember he could even find humor to share in what was essentially a "dear John" letter from a former girlfriend. Who else would name his pet cat "Cat"?
The FFW days were a blur of work (some of it productive), heat and dust punctuated by absurdity and hilarity. And by wonderful times and friendships. In search of relief, we in Badghis (Bill, Charlie, Andy, and myself) would occasionally head south for a little R&R in Herat, where Tom and Ben Santos and Tom Grant kept the FFW fires burning. And laughing. Were there really ghosts in the Herat Hotel? Why yes, there were. Did someone's hooting result in a gaudi running off the road into a jui? Why yes, it did. Did the Grove-Grant-Santos threesome take some rather extraordinary measures dressing for the governor's dinner? Why yes, reliable sources say they did. And there are pictures.
Tom and his twin brother, Tim, were born in York, PA. on July 15, 1949 to Arthur and Janette Grove. His sister Margie had been born 8 years earlier. Twelve years later Reverend Grove was assigned to the Zion Reformed Church in Hagerstown, MD. During his school years Tom was active in scouting, swimming, drama and church youth programs. In 1967 Tom graduated from Hagerstown's North High and went on to the University of Maryland. Some of Tom's research on Hagerstown's founder, Jonathon Hager, remains part of the town library's collection. After graduating from the University in 1971, Tom went to work for Xerox researching materials for textbooks.
His parents remember Tom's decision to join the Peace Corps as the outcome of his experiences surrounding his opposition to the Vietnam War and to the death of a friend of his in the war. His desire to do something helpful and constructive led him to the FFW program. And the work, the experience and our memories are all the richer because of Tom's decision.
Tom Grove was a good and gentle man who cared about those around him. He gave of himself in service to others; he shared generously his ironic, wry view of the world. And, he was a good friend.
Jim Hicks
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